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Mightygodking dot com. Hello internetters, it’s Justin again, recently returned from a self- imposed comics blogging hiatus, and I wanted to talk to you about Marvel Comics. What are the odds, right? I didn’t mean to leave it this long; I thought, within a week of my last post, I’d get the follow- up bashed out and posted, but it’s been—gosh, over a month.

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Why the delay? To find out the answer, I called myself up for an interview on the subject. Hi, Justin, thanks for sitting down with us. No problem, Justin. You’re looking well. Watch Free Jimmy 4Shared more. That is a lie, and you know it, but I understand that you want to be polite. I will accept the compliment, insincere though it is. Fine, let’s get to it.

Last time, you said that you “have trouble really connecting with Marvel books these days.”That is correct. Are you reading any of Marvel’s current output?

No, actually. Really? I would’ve thought Mark Waid writing an Avengers book would be an easy sell, at least. We love Waid, as I’m sure you know. I know! I know. I did actually buy the first issue of All- New, All- Different Avengers.

But I couldn’t really get into it. I tried out The Ultimates, too, because I hear such good things about Al Ewing, and the concept is neat. So what’s wrong with the books that you’re not buying them? Honestly? I think this is a case of, “It’s not you, it’s me.”I don’t understand. See, now we’re coming to why this post has been so long in coming.

I’ve starting writing it a bunch of times, but I can’t seem to finish. I keep looking for a way into this post, and each way I’ve tried it so far has left me with a “Who farted?” grimace about my own ponderous thoughts. I thought maybe the interview format would help me get the words out of my head. You could ask questions and we could see how I arrived at my current attitudes. Okay, I guess. So what do you mean by, “It’s not you, it’s me,” exactly? Well, most people on the internet with Opinions About Comics like to believe that we are evaluating things based on solid, critical reasoning, right? X is not good because Y.” And so, when “X” is a comic and it’s not good, you try to solve for “Y”.

You should have warned me you were going to use algebra. Okay, fine, what are some of these “Y” values? I mean, there are a lot. For one, I don’t understand why writers don’t use narrative captions and thought bubbles like they used to.“Balloons.”Excuse me?“Thought balloons,” not thought bubbles. John Byrne says—Oh, never mind, the point is, these are fantastic narrative tools that are really only found in comic books, and people shun them now.

I don’t understand why you’d cut yourself off from a tool that helps convey information quickly in a medium where space is at such a premium. Watchmen doesn’t use narrative captions or thought balloons. I guess. I mean, I suppose I understand if it’s a stylistic choice. But in the first years of the 2. I don’t think I’ll ever understand why. But you’re right, ultimately it is just a choice.

But it’s a choice I don’t like. Have all the status quo shakeups over the past couple of years put you off? Yeah. I mean, it’s like Peter Parker is Tony Stark, and Doctor Doom is Iron Man, and several different people are Captain America. Somebody else is Wolverine—it’s a very DC sort of way of doing things. The Fantastic Four aren’t around anymore.

There are a bunch of different Avengers teams, and they don’t live in Avengers Mansion—this is a huge deal to me, actually. It all feels wrong. Even the way the books look.

The logos aren’t “comic booky.” There’s no corner boxes. Everyone’s costume seems over- rendered, with all the seams.

Computer coloring can do some wonderful things, but I feel like it overpowers the line art sometimes, and line art is what I like about comic art, you know? Even the glossy paper. It just bugs me. So…basically, it’s not like it was when you were a kid? Basically, yeah. Basically.

Well, isn’t that kind of…I mean, that’s such a whiny thing to say. That’s what I thought too! So I fought it for a long time.

I thought, “Argh, these guys keep messing it up, they don’t know what they’re doing.” It had to be, right? I had all these “Y” values that I thought contributed to “X is not good.” And then one day, I realized—what if “X” is good, and “X” is simply not for me? I feel like you’re losing the plot with this algebra thing. Can you explain it a different way? I just mean that…the things that I like about superhero comics—specifically Marvel comics—aren’t what Marvel comics are about these days. Well, what are the things you like about superhero comics? What is your platonic ideal of the genre?

Well, Bronze Age Marvel Comics, right? The Bronze Age is the best. Funnily enough, a big part of the reason I think that is because of Wizard magazine in the 9. People just remember them rigging the speculator market and hyping the crap out of what we called “T& A” books at the time, but those dudes were raised on Bronze Age comics, and they wrote about how great Roger Stern’s Amazing Spider- Man run was, and the Paul Smith issues of Uncanny X- Men, and Walt Simonson’s Thor, and Byrne’s FF. It was actually a huge influence on my tastes. Wizard. Really? That’s kind of embarrassing.

Yeah. Actually, could you strike that? I want that off the record. Oh sure, I’ll edit that out.

So you’d like modern comics if they were more like Bronze Age comics? Well, sure, I would. But, here’s the thing. I could spend all my time complaining about how Marvel’s not doing it “right,” and whining that the books should be more like Bronze Age comics. Or, you know…I could just buy Bronze Age comics. There are literally thousands that I haven’t read, right?

And if you go to Half- Price Books, you can actually get them cheaper than new comics. I filled out my Byrne FF run at Half- Price Books, most of them at only a dollar a pop. Watch The River Why HIGH Quality Definitons.

But don’t you miss out on the “newness” of it? I mean, you know how the stories all end, basically. I guess. It is kind of a bummer, but I don’t know, even new comics, I don’t feel emotionally attached to them, either, so it doesn’t matter. Like, when they kill someone off or whatever, or that thing with Steve Rogers being a sleeper HYDRA agent and everybody on the internet flipped out…it doesn’t bother me or make me angry. Even big retcons.

Like, remember when they said Professor Xavier recruited a whole other team of X- Men between what we see in Giant- Size X- Men #1? That bugged me at the time, but it doesn’t anymore. To be honest, they don’t even take place in the same continuity. What do you mean? I have this idea about “the Marvel Universe,” which—to me—is a fictional spacetime continuum originating with Fantastic Four #1 in 1. New X- Men #1. 14.

Arguably the end of Busiek’s Avengers run is the real “end” of the Marvel Universe, as I reckon it, but Morrison and Quitely’s first issue is a clearer line in the sand.) This “Marvel Universe” was a construct that, if you only chose to believe in it, allowed you to view forty years’ worth of comics created by hundreds of hands as a single, unbroken, internally consistent tapestry of events. It wasn’t really, but that was part of the game. That’s why they used to give out No- Prizes!

Anyway, the current Marvel comics, I would argue, do not take place in this same “Marvel Universe,” but rather are comics based—loosely or otherwise—on this fictional history. I mean, all of Bendis’ retcons with the Illuminati—do any of those characters sound “right” in context? Do you believe that they really could have happened between the panels?

So they are quite welcome to do whatever they like; it doesn’t affect what I consider to be the “real” stuff. That’s not a criticism? It seems dismissive. I really don’t mean it to be. You know, I meant what I said in my last post about how it’s great that different, more diverse audiences are getting into Marvel. Like, I’ve heard that young girls like Squirrel Girl.

I don’t get Squirrel Girl—I mean, I get it, but it doesn’t speak to me. But like, maybe they shouldn’t have to cater to a thirty- two- year- old man all the damn time.