10/22/2017
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Watch Meet The Browns Online Forbes Rating: 4,2/5 1822votes

Cleveland Browns fans are on high alert for low expectations - - Bud Shaw's Spinoffs. CLEVELAND, Ohio - Pro Football Talk's preseason power rankings have the Browns at No. The Jets are last at No. So.. happy days are here again? The two teams meet on Oct. The online sportsbook Bovada gives the Browns and Jets a league worst 2.

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If you wanted to bet on the Browns not making the playoffs you'd have to wager $5,0. If you have $5,0. Browns losing, that tells me you have a lot of experience betting on the Browns losing.* After so many poor seasons, the odds are the hope of playoff contention is secondary among fans to the hope that someday spending $1. Browns game won't feel like highway robbery.* Pro Football Focus ranks the Browns offense line No. NFL. Take that, NFL.

The story in the New York Times this week was unsettling: The New America Foundation, a major think tank, was getting rid of one of its teams of scholars, the Open. E! Online - Your source for entertainment news, celebrities, celeb news, and celebrity gossip. Check out the hottest fashion, photos, movies and TV shows! The Texarkana Gazette is the premier source for local news and sports in Texarkana and the surrounding Arklatex areas.

Breitbart TV is the home of the hottest video on politics, world events, culture, and media. Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the.

I guess we know who won OTAs.* The Browns offensive line is clearly more talented than a year ago with the acquisitions of guard Kevin Zeitler and center JC Tretter in free agency but we should probably wait until they play together for a week or two before judging them. Preferably against a team that isn't wearing the same colors.* An improved offensive line isn't good enough reason to give rookie De. Shone Kizer the keys in training camp as some have argued.

While Brock Osweiler doesn't figure in the Browns future and Cody Kessler doesn't look like a permanent NFL starter, how about we go rogue here and suggest Kizer should, you known, earn the job. And by something other than default.* Too much time is spent criticizing offensive lines for not protecting quarterbacks. The better quarterbacks make their offensive lines look good, too. I believe that to be true of the Browns.

But then I've only been watching them for for 2. David Griffin is no longer under consideration for the Knicks GM job, having obviously come to his senses.* Headline: "Viagra won't advertise on NFL games, signaling softening ad market."Difficult to know for sure the intent of the headline writer. I suspect though The Onion wishes it had beaten Yahoo's Shutdown Corner to this one.* Aaron Judge put on an amazing power display at the All- Star game Home Run Derby. Or so I'm told. I didn't watch. That event reminds me too much of my career as a high school pitcher.* I don't want to say it makes me skittish, but compared to me watching the Home Run Derby my cowering dogs handle fireworks with absolute grace and aplomb.* The Dallas Mavericks are rebuilding in the tough Western Conference.

Owner Mark Cuban says his team wouldn't be rebuilding if it played in the Eastern Conference. It also wouldn't be competing for a title. So he'd have that going for him?* Floyd Mayweather has petitioned the IRS to give him a temporary reprieve on paying back taxes. The letter to the IRS was sent July 5 and asks for a delay on the bill due for 2. Mayweather has a "significant liquidity event" scheduled in the near future. Mayweather will fight Conor Mc.

Gregor Aug. 2. 6. Mayweather is favored to beat Mc. Gregor. But maybe betting the underdog who wants to prove his merit and doesn't think of the fight as a "liquidity event" is the way to go.* Mayweather has made approximately $7. Forbes, including over $2. Manny Pacquiao. His nickname: "Money."The irony isn't lost on the IRS.* An independent WBO review confirms the judges scoring that gave Jeff Horn a controversial victory over Pacquiao last month in a fight hailed as the "Battle of Brisbane."Instead, millions of viewers will choose to believe their eyes and boxing insiders will choose to trust years of experience.

NBA refs never look as competent as they do when compared to boxing judges.* Former Marlins pitcher Livan Hernandez, the MVP of the 1. World Series, has filed for bankruptcy claiming between $5. No member of the '9. Indians has declared bankruptcy to date. Feel better? Didn't think so.* Joey Votto will keep his pledge to deliver a donkey to Reds teammate Zack Cosart for making the NL All- Star team. Asked if procuring a donkey was a complicated purchase, Votto said after signing his last contract he was able to afford a "donkey assistant."And, finally, for the first time in 4.

I do have a career Plan B.* Point guard Markelle Fultz, the NBA's No. Given that full seasons were recently missed by Sixers draft picks Nerlens Noel, Ben Simmons and Joel Embiid (two), it's understandable if the rookie nickname under consideration for Fultz is "Ironman."* Simmons says he will play anywhere the Sixers want him to play but says, "I'm a starting point guard."So the Sixers rebuild could go full speed ahead, or sideways.* From Newsweek, via Yahoo, comes the story of a Florida man bitten in both legs by a shark."But don't panic," readers are told, "attacks are actually down this year."So keep cool if you're bitten in both legs. It probably won't happen again and you still have two good arms. Limp it off.* Bryce Harper's idea for a new All- Star game format is to have the leading vote getters serve as captains and draft teams regardless of league affiliation. Harper's idea may be too revolutionary for traditional baseball fans. But at least baseball would never again be tempted to award home- field advantage in the World Series based on the winner of an exhibition game.* Under Harper's format, Jose Ramirez might have to face Corey Kluber with the bases loaded.

If three errors ever load the bases behind Corey Kluber.

Why Your Team Sucks 2. Cleveland Browns. Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2. 01. 7 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Your team: Cleveland Browns.

Garbage. Garbage. Garbage. Garbage. Garbage. Your 2. 01. This team’s poor fanbase can’t even plan an 0- 1. Browns fucking it all up: “I fully expect the Browns to go out there and win one of these games,” he said. Just to turn the tables on us.” That they did, my friend. FUN FACT: The Browns haven’t won their opening game in 1.

I mean… what do you even say at this point? You know how in The Revenant, Leonardo Di.

Caprio gets his throat slashed by that bear, so then he has to stuff gun powder in his throat and light it to, like, heal it? That must be what being a Browns fan is like all the time. Just your throat exploding in perpetuity. Say the name CLEVELAND BROWNS and festering wounds spontaneously open all over your body.

Now, for the particulars: The Browns blew a 2. Ravens and a 2. 0- 7 lead against the goddamn Jets. They lost a fumble that they didn’t actually fumble. They let AJ Green tip a Hail Mary pass to himself. Do you know how awful you have to be to make the Cincinnati Bengals look like a model of competence?

The Browns pull off this trick every year. It’s breathtaking.

The Browns also lost to the Dolphins because their kicker missed three field goals. Did I mention that their special teams coach asked them to sign another kicker for that game, but the Browns signed a cheaper kicker instead? And did I mention that they flew that discount kicker in to watch him practice, but then never saw him practice because—and this is true—they had to leave for Miami before they could? What hope does your team have when it can’t even coordinate a fucking Delta flight properly? In Cleveland, Congress clowns you!

We’re not done. The team held a job fair that had no actual jobs. Corey Coleman got hurt instantly.

Quarterback For The Day Cody Kessler got hurt throwing the ball backwards for a safety. One of their beat writers accused the team of secretly hiring ESPN’s Bill Barnwell with no actual proof. They somehow fucked up by scoring a shitload of draft picks from Philly in exchange for the right to draft Carson Wentz, then fired all the scouts that liked Wentz. Only the Browns. Only the Browns could turn such a shrewd draft- day haul into chicken shit, and it’s not even the first time they’ve done it.

TIME TRAVEL SOUND EFFECTS*** The pick they got for Trent Richardson became Johnny Manziel.) Join us this year when the team finds a sack containing $1 billion in cash and promptly invests it in kazoo futures. RG3 found new bones to shatter, and then got divorced: Your coach: Designated patsy Hue Jackson, who has already quietly feuded with the team’s front office and had to replace his defensive coordinator after just one year on the job. And who did they hire to replace the hapless Ray Horton? Oh no. No. NO NO NO IT CANNOT BE… Oh God, you went and hired Greggggggggggggggggggg! For real, how does this man keep finding work? Shouldn’t he be coaching in Estonia or some shit?

Gregg Williams is Rob Ryan without any of the charm. I hope you enjoy multiple personal foul flags and busted coverages, Cleveland. Those are the hallmarks of any Gregg Williams defense. SO INTIMIDATING. You’re beyond fucked now. Your quarterback: [spins wheel]This team is like an estate sale for quarterbacks. Last year they played Josh Mc.

Cown, RG3, Cody Kessler, Terrelle Pryor, and Charlie Whitehurst. The good news is that four of those quarterbacks are gone. The bad news is that one of them was your best wideout. The even worse news is that THIS is what you have to work with in 2. OH YEAH HOOK A CAR BATTERY UP TO MY NUTSACK AND TURN ON THE JUICE. You already know the details here but I’ll run through them one more time just to twist the knife: The Texans traded a 2. Cleveland just to be rid of Brock Osweiler, and the Browns openly mused about trading or even cutting him immediately afterward.

But they didn’t, and now he’s your likely starter. Join us in Week 8 when Brock gets hurt accidentally sticking his ostrich wing into a fucking ceiling fan. The Browns have now gone from regular sucking to deliberate sucking. It’s a nice change of pace. As for the rest of the depth chart, there’s living concussion Cody Kessler, who is the lone holdout from last season’s barge fire. And then there is De. Shone Kizer. You might remember De.

Shone from the time he was benched by shrieking mangoblin Brian Kelly, or the time he boasted that he was Tom Brady in Cam Newton’s body: “Why can’t I be the greatest? The only thing stopping me from it is me.”My friend, the Cleveland Browns will almost certainly have something to say about that. I’m just glad that De.

Shone quickly blamed the uproar over that quote over lack of context. It’s like RG3 tutored him in Transparent Phoniness without even meeting him! It will not shock you to learn that the list of Notre Dame QBs drafted since 1. Browns quarterbacks through that same timeframe: Jimmy Clausen.

Brady Quinn. Jarious Jackson. Rick Mirer. Steve Beuerlein. Blair Kiel. Rusty Lisch. What a pedigree. They may as well have drafted someone from a prison team. I’m gonna go have a seltzer. What’s new that sucks: Say hello to new Senior Personnel Executive and Man Talking Too Loudly On His Cell Phone At An Airport Bar, Ryan Grigson!

Yes, Ryan is fresh off taking a sledgehammer to Andrew Luck’s career, and now he’s all yours! You can be sure that he will find the last smoldering ashes of this franchise and snuff them out with his Kenneth Cole wingtips. As for the team itself, it is—against all mathematical probability—worse than it was a year ago. Terrelle Pryor is gone. Gary Barnidge is gone. Joe Thomas’s memory is gone. The Browns have chosen to entrust their fate to a rookie class that includes Kizer, No.

Myles Garrett (who has openly admitted to taking plays off… LOW MOTOR!), failed drug test alum Jabrill Peppers, and Florida defensive tackle Caleb Brantley. In April, Brantley was accused of punching a female student, and the Brownsiest part of this is that they drafted him without completing a full investigation of the incident, with GM Sashi Brown openly speculating about cutting him depending upon what they found (charges against Brantley were later dropped for insufficient evidence). That’s the 2. 01. Watch Now You See Me 2 Vioz. Browns for you: a team of players they’re not even sure they want. Also, the team traded for Jamie Collins in the middle of last season and handed him $2. When Bill Belichick is mysteriously willing to hand you a seemingly good player, you should DEFINITELY give him a lucrative extension in the early stages of a massive rebuild and assume he’s not riddled with lead tumors. What has always sucked: I know the Osweiler trade was a breakthrough in NFL salary dumping technology, but it’s still insane to think that the Cleveland Browns—who have never displayed anything remotely resembling competence and are owned by an embezzling truck- stop pirate—have finally solved the whole rebuilding thing.

They’re run by a baseball egghead who couldn’t even run a baseball team properly, and they just hired Grigson—who is a glorified coffee mug inspector—to help with personnel. Does that strike you as revolutionary? The tech industry is nothing but a mirage of highly paid bullshitters, and the Browns can’t even do a good job emulating those bullshitters. Even when this team does things right, it does them wrong.